10 New Rules We Should Have

A mere good evening to all. We all know that Singapore has some "controversial" rules, like the banning of gum and the forgotten curfew for CU-16. (I want to sound cool, you know like those government codenames all... anyway it means Children Under 16) The Merelion has came out with 10 brand new rules (and their consequences) to debate about!

1.Anyone who seems suspicious or carries any items that is deemed suspicious on public transports can be prosecuted and fired at will. Even by civillians carrying rotten fruit.
2.Carrying of durians in public transports will be disallowed. Instead of a heavy fine, you will be made to sit in a room with 100 durians scattered around you. Yes, you will be naked and forced to smell and feel the horror that everyone faces when you were carrying around the durian.
3.Anyone found spitting will be made to replace the merlion at the esplanade.
4.Any man found bare-chested in a public place will be made to wear bras.
5.Any woman found bare-chested will be made to wear bras.
6.Gum of any kind is prohibited. You can no longer bring glue to school or you will be made to eat it.
7.The confusing age restriction for movies should be abolished. All movies are either G or R-55.
8.Any two people found being intimate in a public transport will be forced to pay for a suite at the most expensive hotel at 200% of the rate.
9.Children found crying for no apparent reason will be given a time-out in prison.
10.Asking for personal information(e.g. contact number) of a minor you just met in a public place is disallowed.


Merely.